Bill Gates' tech support [rec.humor.funny]
<p>
  Now that Bill Gates has moved into his brand spanking new house  in
  the Seattle suburbs, the following is a conversation overheard last
  week:
<p>
  Bill:  There are a few issues we need to discuss.
<p>
  Contractor:  Ah, you have our basic support option.  Calls are free
  for the first 90 days and $75 a call thereafter.  Okay?
<p>
  Bill: Uh, yeah ... the first issue is the living room. We think its
  a little smaller than we anticipated.
<p>
  Contractor: Yeah.  Some compromises were made to have it out by the
  release date.
<p>
  Bill:  We won't be able to fit all our furniture in there.
<p>
  Contractor:   Well,  you have two options.  You can purchase a new,
  larger living room; or you can use Stacker.
<p>
  Bill:  Stacker?
<p>
  Contractor: Yeah, it allows you to fit twice as much furniture into
  the  room.   By  stacking  it, of course, you put the entertainment
  center on the couch ... the chairs on the table ... etc.  You leave
  an  empty  spot,  so  when  you  want to use some furniture you can
  unstack what you need and then put it back when you're done.
<p>
  Bill: Uh ... I dunno ...  issue two.  The second issue is the light
  fixtures. The bulbs we brought with us from our old home won't fit.
  The threads run the wrong way.
<p>
  Contractor:  Oh! That's easy.  Those bulbs aren't  plug  and  play.
  You'll have to upgrade to the new bulbs.
<p>
  Bill:   And  the  electrical  outlets?   The  holes  are round, not
  rectangular.  How do I fix that?
<p>
  Contractor:  Just uninstall and reinstall the electrical system.
<p>
  Bill:  You're kidding!?
<p>
  Contractor:  Nope.  Its the only way.
<p>
  Bill:  <sigh> Well ...  I have one last problem.  Sometimes, when I
  have  guests over, someone will flush the toilet and it won't stop.
  The water pressure drops so low that the showers don't work.
<p>
  Contractor: That's a resource leakage problem. One fixture fails to
  terminate and is hogging the resources preventing access from other
  fixtures.
<p>
  Bill:  And how do I fix that?
<p>
  Contractor: Well, after each flush, you all need to exit the house,
  turn  off  the  water  at the street, turn it back on, re-enter the
  house and then you'll be back on track.
<p>
  Bill:  That's the last straw.  What kind of product are you selling
  me?
<p>
  Contractor:   Hey,  remember, if you don't like it, nobody made you
  buy it.
<p>
  Bill:  And when will this be fixed?
<p>
  Contractor:  Oh, in your next house-which will be ready to  release
  sometime near the end of next year. Actually it was due out earlier
  this year, but we've had some delays ...
<p>
  [Note - making the rounds unattributed - ed.]
<p>